Kuroko No Meme Short Stories
by Anglo-Chan
Summary: GoM/Kuroko short stories, based on memes. Chapter 1- AoKuro. "Woo him, she said. It will be fun, she said," Aomine mumbled, trying to get vanilla milkshake out of his hair.


**A/N: So I was at a party being antisocial tonight, as usual, when I got an idea for a AoKuro/GoMxKuroko fic from reading memes on the internet. It's based off of 'Go to -, they said. It will be fun, they said,'- as you may have deduced from the summary. Hope you guys enjoy this simple, short fanfic, and thanks for your support! Review if you'd like to see more of these meme-based fanfiction, with other pairings from GoM/Kuroko in this fanfic! I might be making this fanfic ongoing with other GoM/Kuroko!**

****Third year Teiko, before the awakening of the Generation of Miracles****

* * *

Aomine Daiki was just your average young man, of fifteen years old.

He was a ninth grader at the sports-centered middle school, Teiko Private, and enjoyed street basketball. He was on Teiko's prestigious basketball team. Aomine Daiki had a lot of friends from sports teams, due to his likable personality, and a childhood friend named Momoi Satsuki. He was rather popular with girls in his class. He got normal grades, did normal school activities, and enjoyed normal fifteen-year old foods. Besides his talent in basketball, he was all-around _normal_.

Other than the fact he had a gigantic crush on another _boy_ in his basketball team- his partner, Kuroko Tetsuya. That was pretty abnormal.

The crush on Kuroko Tetsuya had originally come as a huge shock for the young man who had thought he was straight his whole life. He had harbored the crush for about a year before he realized they were actual romantic feelings. Aomine had developed the crush from the beginning of his second year in middle school, and had come to find out what it was by the end of the same year. He hadn't told anyone his secret except for his friend Momoi, who had come to accept her own feelings for Kuroko Tetsuya as well. The topic was often skirted around between them.

Needless to say, the point was that Aomine Daiki was keeping his secret from everyone other than Momoi- including the rest of his teammates on the basketball team, and the object of his affections. After all, how could he know if Kuroko was bisexual, or gray, let alone if he reciprocated his feelings?

Thus- Aomine often shut himself up and bottled his feelings for Kuroko Tetsuya up inside of him. He would sit in his room and think for a very long time after basketball practice about what to do in his situation. He had tried before to subtly ask Kuroko if he was interested in any girls, but the bluenette was so blunt that his answers were hardly answers at all. Poor Aomine Daiki had no idea about Kuroko Tetsuya.

He wondered if he would have to keep it a secret to avoid humiliation until he graduated middle school, when he'd hardly see Kuroko Tetsuya ever again. Either that, or he'd leak the secret to his crush- or Momoi or someone else would find out and tell Kuroko. So, he either suffered in silence for another year, or he faced the near certain end of his friendship with Kuroko, if the other didn't like him back.

Aomine Daiki _wished_ he was normal.

* * *

"Daiki, go get the recyclable papers and take them out to the curb! It's trash day tomorrow!" Aomine Misoko called from the kitchen, on the first floor of the Aomine household. The sound of her voice echoed through the halls of the second floor.

"Coming," Aomine called back down, a small grumble escaping his lips. He had been in the middle of brooding about his situation with Tetsuya, something that he had started to do so often that it could be called a hobby. The bluenette hopped off his bed as he left his room, making his way across the halls to gather old newspapers and magazines his parents and cousin, Aomine Meiko, had, for recycling.

"Oi, I'm coming in," Aomine said gruffly, as he knocked on the door of his parents' bedroom, just in case his father was changing. After a few moments, there was no reply, so he opened the door. The tanned young man found the box of old newspapers and sports magazines lying by the bed, and hoisted it into his arms. When he left his parents' bedroom, he closed the door with his foot.

Carefully positioning the heavy box on his arms, he kicked the door to the guest bedroom three times to knock. Aomine knew his cousin, Meiko, was in the room, because he could hear irritating pop music from the door, accompanied by her shrill singing. He loved his cousins, and his family, but Meiko had been staying at their house since the beginning of her first college semester. It was because of her he had found out how lucky he was to not have had any siblings for most his life. Despite her loud and cheerful demeanor, she still treated him like a younger brother.

"Come in," her voice singsonged from inside the bedroom. Aomine grunted as he managed to grab the doorknob and twist it open, kicking the door out of the way as he entered. Meiko was lying on her bed, playing music from her stereo, as she wrote on a magazine with sharpie, circling different things she wanted to buy.

"Ah, Daiki," she remarked, looking at the box of newspapers in his hands, "are you doing recyclables? My old magazines are by my desk," she said happily, and went back to circling fashions. The fifteen-year old scowled as he dropped the box down by her desk, and began to fill it with the old magazines. All of them smelled like cherries and sickeningly sweet cough syrup. He tried not to gag at the scent, knowing offending Meiko's taste in anything was like asking for the death sentence.

As soon as Aomine had loaded all the magazines up, he was about to leave, when Meiko spoke up and interrupted him. He turned around at hearing her voice.

"Daiki.. You'd tell your older sister Meiko if anything's happening with you, right?" The bluenette girl asked, turning down the stereo. Her happy demeanor had gone from cheerful to concerned, as she capped her sharpie. Aomine was wondering what she meant when he realized she must be referring to his antisocial attitude lately.

For the past month or so, Aomine had been coming home from basketball practice and shutting himself in his room, only coming out to use the bathroom or to eat dinner. He had spent his time either brooding about his situation with Kuroko, or ignoring his homework. Aomine had hardly been talking or spending time with Meiko and his parents, something he used to do every day. Now it was an occasion.

"You can be my older sister, not my mother," Aomine pretended to grumble, as Meiko pouted. He shrugged rather flippantly. "Nothing's wrong with me."

"Then why do you spend all of your time in your room? You never come out to talk to me or auntie and uncle," the bluenette pouted, closing her magazine. "We hardly have time for stuff on the weekends because you have basketball games and practices all the time, and when we do have time for stuff, you just spend your time in your room. That's not the Daiki I know," she said, scowling. "What do you do locked in your room, anyway? We all know it's not homework by your report card."

Aomine flinched at his cousin's nagging, and scowled back at her. Their expressions were near mirror-perfect, seeing as he picked up the signature scowl from Meiko. "Hey, don't bring my grades into this! I'm not doing anything in there!"

_Except for brooding over a non-existent relationship with another boy in my basketball team while wondering what it's like to hold a guy instead of a girl_, his conscience happily piped up. Aomine scowled, but blushed slightly.

Meiko was about to say something when she narrowed her eyes. Aomine immediately willed the pink tinge on his cheeks to go away, but it was too late, as his cousin sparked up. The blue-haired teenager could literally see the lightbulb forming over Meiko's head, as she loudly proclaimed her ideas to the whole house.

"You're MASTURBATING in your room, aren't you!"

"Wh-What?" Aomine snapped up to attention in shock and utter embarrassment. Perhaps telling her the truth would've been better than the whole neighborhood now wondering if he spent his time in his room furiously masturbating. Redness covered his face rather than pink, as he nearly yelled, "what the _hell_, Meiko? I don't masturbate in there! What kind of a guy do you think I am?"

"I knew it!" The bluenette cried out, slapping her fist against her palm. She sat back down on her bed, seeming rather pleased as she smirked at Aomine condescendingly. "Don't worry, Daiki. All teenagers do it once in their lives, you shouldn't be ashamed. Though maybe you shouldn't be doing it so frequently, or one hand will be larger than the other.. Then that would screw up your basketball.."

Aomine slapped his palm against his forehead and groaned loudly. His cousin seriously thought he spent his time in his room masturbating twenty-four seven.

"Listen, Meiko," he started, trying not to reveal his embarrassment. That would only egg her ideas on. "I'm not.. 'you-know-what-ing' in my room all the time. I've been thinking a lot about a certain person.. That I guess I have.." He gulped hard, "feelings for, and I'm trying to think of my situation. It's difficult and.. stuff."

"Oh, so you just have a school girl crush on someone. That's kinda boring in comparison," Meiko remarked. When Aomine's head snapped up in shock, she only laughed in response. "Don't worry, Daiki. I'm just messing with you! Who's the lucky girl that my precious cousin is pining over?" She asked eagerly, leaning in.

".. That's the thing," he started, looking away. Though he had no idea if his cousin would recoil in disgust at the idea, he said it anyway. ".. It's not a girl. It's a boy."

A few moments passed by, where both Aomine and Meiko were perfectly still. He was expecting the silence to only last until she slapped him or screamed in disgust. Instead, he was brought back into reality with a scream of.. Delight..?

"Kyaaaaaa~! That's the best!" Meiko squealed loudly, grabbing a stuffed animal from her bed and hugging it close in excitement. Aomine's eyes snapped open in shock, seeing his cousin go completely berserk as she suffocated a large rabbit. "I-I can't believe it, Daiki! I'm living in the same house as one half of a yaoi couple!"

Aomine could only stare, jaw dropped. His cousin was.. Happy he was bisexual?

"What the _fuck_ is a yaoi?" Was all Aomine could say.

Meiko turned to him, snapping out of her childish tantrum, with her eyes practically glittering in joy. "Daiki, a yaoi is a word to describe the sexual relationship of two hot guys!" She squealed out. Her voice was so loud and high-pitched, Aomine swore his brain was melting into some unidentifiable mush, and his ears were bleeding.

"O-Oh my gosh- I forgot! Daiki, who is this guy whose pants you want in on?" Meiko demanded, nearly flinging herself off the bed to sit by her cousin. She grabbed onto his arm, shaking his poor appendage up and down. "Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"I-It's K-Kuroko T-Tetsuya!" He managed to get out, while being bounced up and down by his cousin. "H-He's o-on my b-b-basketball team, f-first string..!"

Suddenly, his arm was released. Aomine breathed out a sigh of relief, and tried not to bolt out the door running. So his cousin didn't hate him for being bisexual- or gay- or KurokoTetsuyasexual, good. But now, she had turned completely insane.

"Do you have a picture of him?" Meiko asked, pawing at his shirt. Aomine sighed and moved his hand to the back pocket of his pants, where he grabbed his phone. Flipping the device open, he went into his pictures and scrolled until he found one of he and Kuroko before a basketball game.

They were standing side by side in the courts, Aomine grinning, with a small, subtle smile playing out on Kuroko's lips. Aomine was a lot taller than Kuroko, and it definitely showed in the picture. Aomine had his arm around Kuroko, and the bluenette simply stood. The height difference was a near half-foot. The two of them were both wearing their Teiko basketball jerseys and matching sweatbands.

"C-C-Cute," Meiko breathed out, grabbing Aomine's phone from him. She was practically drooling. She began to paw at the screen, "D-Daiki, he's _so_ cute! If I was a gay boy, I'd go for him too! A-And look how short he is, he's the perfect uke..!"

"What the hell is an uke?" Aomine asked, disturbed yet again. However, as soon as the question left his lips, he immediately regretted it. An extremely pleased smile fit over Meiko's lips, as she closed the phone and hugged it close to her.

"The smaller, more feminine guy in the yaoi relationship," Meiko began to explain, smirking deviously. "He bottoms when the two have sex, and is the one who gets protected a lot. He's usually being preyed on by other guys who want in his pants. Doesn't that fit the description of this Kuroko Tetsuya perfectly~?"

Aomine was about to crack, but he couldn't help but agree. Kuroko was rather small, and he could be described as feminine, with his large eyes and slim body.. Aomine didn't know about bottoming during sex and all, but he was protected often by the rest of the Generation of Miracles and himself, of course. Being preyed on by guys who want in his pants.. There were none of those, obviously. Except sometimes he had questions when Akashi would ask Kuroko to stay for extra practice or Midorima would make lucky items for Kuroko or when Murasakibara fed him chocolate or Kise tried to hug-grope him and _oh dear lord, _Kuroko Tetsuya was not only an uke, but the rest of the Generation of Miracles had feelings for him as well?

"Shit," was all Aomine could say. He only swore when it was appropriate, but.. That had to be appropriate. Meiko only laughed, and pointed to her cousin.

"And you, my friend, are a seme. The seme is the taller, more masculine guy in the relationship, who tops during sex! He wears the pants between them, and protects his uke from danger. He only has eyes for his uke and enjoys masculine, manly things, like sports and cars and sharp things. That is you!" Meiko announced.

Aomine felt his blood run cold. Was his whole life becoming some sort of yaoi-thing? Yaoi was what his cousin read about in manga- did that mean his life was becoming a manga as well? The bluenette groaned loudly and fell down, lying on the floor.

"Don't look so disappointed! This is an amazing day for me, to find out a yaoi love story may be going on right across the hall!" Meiko squealed in delight, and lay down next to her cousin. "So tell me what the situation is, with you and this Tetsuya person. Using my vast knowledge and experience with yaoi doujinshi and manga, I can easily tell you what you should do to secure this uke as yours before any other seme does! You're very fortunate to have an expert like me with you~"

"Life isn't some crappy manga," Aomine replied, his voice muffled by speaking into the carpet. His cousin narrowed her eyes and slapped him over the head.

"Don't you dare insult the yaoi, Daiki. Now get up and talk about your big man-crush on Tetsuya," she cooed, lying on her back. Slowly, her cousin rolled over with a sigh.

".. Uh, it started in the second year of middle school, I guess. I met Tetsu in the first year of middle school, and that was when we became best friends. But I started to get.. feelings for him in the beginning of the second year, and I realized it by the end of the second year, too. That's it," he said dully. Meiko pulled his ear in annoyance.

"Give me more to work with if you want help, Daiki. Tell me what's special about Tetsuya, and why you like him," Meiko said, as if she was a therapist. Aomine rolled his eyes at her, but began to think about it for a while, and eventually complied.

".. Well, Tetsu's really blunt and honest, and it's refreshing. He's funny at his times, and doesn't smile much, so when he does, I really like it," Aomine started, closing his eyes. He imagined the bluenette boy's subtle smiles, and found himself slowly grinning. "He's really kind and generous, and doesn't do it for the sake of wanting something back. He's also really selfless too.. I like his voice, it makes me feel relaxed, and the color of his eyes remind me of the sky. His hair is soft.." He trailed off.

Meiko hummed, obviously pleased. "Who are the other people interested in your uke, and what do special actions do they do to him, that they don't do to anyone else?"

"My basketball teammates," Aomine grumbled. He had just realized that his teammates possibly had a thing for the object of his affections, and thinking back on their actions made him irritated he hadn't figured it out sooner. "This guy in our team, Kise, is always clingy and hugging Tetsu. He's whining when Tetsu insults him or doesn't pass to him too, and is always complimenting him.." He scoffed.

"Go on," Meiko prodded eagerly. She grabbed a notebook and pen from under her bed to write notes down with. Aomine raised an eye, but sighed and continued.

".. Then, there's Midorima, some glasses guy on our team. He's obsessed with horoscopes and stars and stuff, so he'll always read out Oha-Asa or whatever to Tetsu and then give him a gift that's supposed to be a 'lucky-item.' Then he'll blush whenever Tetsu says thank you.. He always defends Tetsu's way of basketball to the guys who don't understand and helps him with school work," Aomine bristled.

"Ooh, a tsundere-seme. Totally hot," Meiko mumbled joyfully, wiping some drool from her chin with her sleeve. Aomine scooched away from her in disgust.

"Then there's Murasakibara, this gigantic guy in our team," Aomine went on, remembering how the violet-eyed giant always treated Kuroko. "He's always eating snacks, so sometimes he'll feed Tetsu or whatever, and they'll go out candy shopping..." He mumbled, wondering how he could've missed the signs earlier. "Whenever someone insults Tetsu on his height, Murasakibara threatens them, and then puts Tetsu on his shoulders so they're both tall together."

"There's a last person on your basketball team, right?" Meiko asked, looking up from her notebook. Aomine nodded, and she grinned. "The captain.. You've mentioned him before, a couple of times. Isn't he Akashi.. Akashi Saito's son, Seijuuro?"

Aomine nodded, running a hand through his hair tiredly. ".. Akashi's always coddling Tetsu. He doesn't put a quota on Tetsu's points scored per game, and gives him less training since he's kind of low-stamina. He tries to get Tetsu to eat more, and always buys him a water or energy drink, and gets him a towel. And he addresses Tetsu by his first name, when the rest of us are just addressed by our last names."

Meiko nodded, scribbling the new information down. "How would you say, you rank up, compared to the others? If Kuroko had to date one of you, who would it be?"

".. I'm not really sure," Aomine sighed. He'd really like to say it was himself who'd win if it came down to it, but he and Kuroko were just really good friends. Kuroko might not even want to date any of them. "I'm not sure he's even into guys yet."

"He most likely is. Someone that small and cute can't be into girls. Can you imagine him being the man in a relationship?" Meiko asked, snapping Aomine's phone out. The tanned male looked at Kuroko in the picture, so small, and cute. It was definitely hard to see. "Exactly. No one with a body like that can be into women."

"But Satsuki is," Aomine said bitterly, snatching his phone back from his cousin. "She's had a crush on him since first year, even longer than me! And she tells everyone she's his girlfriend, when she's not. Though.. She is the same height as him.." Would Momoi perhaps get over her love for Kuroko if she grew taller than him? After all, no girl wanted to have to lean down to kiss her boyfriend, right?

"Well, she's into him, but we don't know if he's into her. Let's leave it at that," Meiko announced, as she ran over her notes one more time, before closing it. She threw the pad and pen onto her desk, as she walked over to the bookshelf near her bed. Aomine looked up as his cousin skimmed through the various novels before grabbing one and opening it. She began to write on a series of sticky notes, slapping them in the pages, before throwing it to him. Instinctively, he caught it, narrowing his eyes.

"What the hell is this?" He asked, looking over the cover.

"Pride and Prejudice," Meiko said, sitting back down on her bed, as she went back to marking up her magazine with sharpie, as she had been doing when Aomine first entered her room. "Go read it, it'll help you. But do it after you take out the recyclables," she said, gesturing towards the box of old magazines and newspapers.

Aomine narrowed his eyes suspiciously, grabbing the book. How would one of those old classics help him? He sighed and hoisted up the box of old papers, grabbing the novel, as he exited Meiko's room. His cousin had gone from normal, to freaky- to disturbing, and then back to normal again in a flash. Aomine walked down the stairs, feeling irritated. How could he face his teammates tomorrow in school when he knew they all felt the same thing as he did for Kuroko? He exited the house and dumped the recyclables into the bin. He was careful not to throw away the book as well. He finished, pushing the bin out to the curb, and went back inside the house.

It was only when Aomine got back in his room, which was safe and locked from any creepy, perverted cousins, did he open up Pride and Prejudice. And what he found was not the romantic love story of three men and three women..

But the horribly described and drawn manga romance of two young men.

The cover had been peeled off of the real Pride and Prejudice book and glued over a yaoi novel, Aomine noted. He was shocked to find that if Meiko was this good at hiding her secrets, he probably only knew a fraction of her life. Heck, she might not even be going to college, for all he knew. Aomine flipped through the pages of the manga. What did Meiko mean, when she said this would help him?

Aomine lay down on his bed, rolling his eyes as he flipped to the first page of the novel. It was labeled 'World's Greatest First Love,' a terrible title for what seemed to be a terrible plot line. The bluenette grimaced as he began to read, but didn't put the yaoi manga down in spite of it. Despite his wariness, if Meiko really thought this might help his situation, then he should at least try it, right?

He read through the first few pages. Apparently, the boy in this story had confessed to his senior five years back, and they had started a relationship. A yellow sticky note was on the page describing the scene labeled, '_If he doesn't make the first move, then you do it! The seme should be the one to make the plans and initiate things!'_

Aomine rolled his eyes at the note, and took it out. He placed it on the side of his bed. He thought about stopping- it already seemed rather ridiculous that a guy who had only seen, and never spoken to his senpai, suddenly confessed his love in a school library. Then he thought of Kuroko- and continued to read.

Five years later, the relationship has seemingly ended. The boy goes to work for an editing company, and he edits manga instead of literature, yadda yadda... Then he meets with his boss for the very first time, who kisses him to show a manga author what a real kiss looks like. Aomine groaned- wasn't a nonconsensual kiss harassment? And who did that at work, anyway? He turned the page and found another sticky note- _Be mysterious and romantic! Surprise him! ;)_

Aomine narrowed his eyes. He was almost sure that by, 'surprise him,' Meiko meant rape poor Kuroko. they did say rape was just surprise sex, after all.

Later, the guy finds out his boss was the senpai from all those years back, and is determined not to fall in love with him. However, his boss continues to harass him, trying to get the guy to fall in love with him. Another sticky note- _If he denies his feelings for you, don't worry. He's definitely gay, he's just in denial._

"This is the kind of stuff rapists say before they attack someone," Aomine mumbled under his breath, putting the note down onto the side of his bed with the others.

Through his time reading the manga, Aomine had collected seven sticky notes in all. Each of them were purposefully numbered 1-7, and there was one sticky note in back of the book. It read, _Put the notes in order and make a schedule. Do an action to your uke according to these steps, one note for each day of the week. Once you're done, ask him out! He'll be sure to say yes after your work!_

Aomine narrowed his eyes before he did as he was told, arranging them in order from one to seven. But these notes said things that were too bold.. How could he initiate something romantic with Kuroko, when he couldn't even voice his feelings? He looked over the arrangement of sticky notes and sighed.

_1) If he doesn't make the first move, then you do it! The seme should be the one to make the plans and initiate things!_

_2) Be mysterious and romantic! Surprise him! _

_3) Do subtle actions that show you care- he's sure to notice._

_4) Protect him from danger, and other semes who want in his pants._

_5) Help him with something he struggles at, and lightly tease him!_

_6) Make an everyday activity with him something special by changing it up!_

_7) Be honest and tell him your feelings!_

Aomine narrowed his eyes and saw some traced lines on the back of the seventh sticky note. He turned it around and felt a headache coming on at what was written in the back of the note- _If all of this fails, take plan 7a and get him drunk._

Was Meiko really serious about this? What if doing all of this creeped Kuroko out, and he didn't want to be friends anymore? Aomine sighed as he collected all of the sticky notes, and stuffed them into a drawer on his desk. He then collapsed into bed, about to sleep away his troubles- when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Meiko- Aomine sighed, flipping his phone open in annoyance.

_Woo him, Daiki. It'll be fun~ ;)_

Aomine closed his eyes, running a hand to his hair. Though he doubted the list would ever work, he knew that he needed to take action before their last year of middle school ended, or before one of his teammates did. With a sigh, he texted back.

_.. If you say so._


End file.
